I Wish I could Write Well Enough To Get You to Read This Article

by CraftyCoach - Norm Lanier on October 29, 2008

If you’re reading this then I did write well enough and you can too. Text that is written with the intent of selling something is called copy and the person doing it is a copywriter. Picture this.. you walk into a car dealership and you’re thinking about buying a new car. A salesman walks up to you and you say “I’d like to look at some cars”. He walks to a new car and points, saying not a single word. You look at the car and say “Can you tell me about it”, he points. I think it would be safe to reason that you’d be out the door in seconds.

Words are at the heart of sales, even with that beautiful car right there in front of you, you’d never buy a car without asking a lot of questions right? So when someone comes to a web page in which you are selling something and you have a picture and little else how likely do you think you will be at selling that item?

It’s not only the facts that matter but how your words make the viewer feel. Read the following from www.ice.com and then lets analyze it.

Wrap your finger in true elegance all the while fulfilling your romantic side. Showcasing a dazzling blue topaz centerpiece in the beloved shape of a heart, this beautiful white gold ring also features several deep blue sapphires and two icy-hued diamonds. A magnificent design that is the perfect jewelry accessory for momentous occasions - especially when love is in the air!

Let’s look at the basic facts:

  • Heart shaped topaz
  • White gold ring
  • Blue sapphires
  • Two diamonds

Now lets look at all the emotional words used in this description:

  • Wrap your finger in true elegance
  • fulfilling your romantic side
  • Showcasing a dazzling
  • beloved shape of a heart
  • beautiful
  • deep blue
  • two icy-hued
  • magnificent design
  • perfect jewelry accessory for momentous occasions - especially when love is in the air!

Now why did they do that? The reason is simple, no one NEEDS jewelry. Wants and needs are two completely separate things and when you need to appeal to wants you use emotions not facts. Would you buy this ring based on the facts:

  • Heart shaped topaz
  • White gold ring
  • Blue sapphires
  • Two diamonds

I don’t think so. That my friend is copy writing and the sooner you learn to speak with emotion the sooner your profits will increase.

Here are two books that I highly recommend

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Please write descriptions for your t-shirt designs in your online stores - T-Shirt Forums
10.31.08 at 10:42 am

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 sewphisticate 10.29.08 at 1:55 pm

great tip. excellent example. thanks for sharing.

2 Trish 10.29.08 at 3:20 pm

Great tip! I am trying to do this - a learning experience! Keep ‘em coming!

3 Dina Cuomo 10.29.08 at 6:47 pm

Interesting post. Thanks for sharing this information.

4 Dré 10.30.08 at 9:00 am

:smile: great tip!!

5 Jess 10.30.08 at 1:27 pm

I’ve looked at this book, but haven’t bought it. Now I’m buying it!

6 Stephanie 10.30.08 at 1:31 pm

Excellent post. I can see I am in need of one of those books. Off to check them out.

7 Julia Catherine 10.30.08 at 1:33 pm

So pile on the cheese?

8 Heather 10.30.08 at 1:51 pm

hehe…I pour over those books at barnes and noble! I love words and the power they posess!

9 Echos Art 10.30.08 at 1:58 pm

I am definitely going to go look for those books! Thanks for the inspiration to word my descriptions better!

10 Vicki 10.30.08 at 2:01 pm

I needed this. For being a creative person, I am lacking in this area. Thanks for the inspiration.

11 Joede 10.31.08 at 7:14 am

I’m about to go review my website and make some changes! Thanks! :smile:

12 Colleen Olson 10.31.08 at 12:10 pm

I am probably the minority here but I don’t like adds like that at all. I get annoyed when I see words that assume that I don’t know what I want. If I want it, I’ll buy it. If I don’t, the description is not going to change my mind. Having said that, no one likes a great description better than I do! Some of the people on Etsy.com are brilliant. Their descriptions are funny, informative and sometimes just plain entertaining. I appreciate that so much more than exaggerated emotions. I don’t want to sound grumpy, I just wanted to see if there were others who think the way I do. I would rather read about how you made something or why you made it. Maybe where you got the idea. If your going to be wordy, make sure your words don’t sound contrived. I think sincerity is crucial in advertising and may even make you feel vulnerable as the creator but will pay off in the long run. Now, I better go take my own advise since my descriptions are boring! =)

13 waterrose 11.02.08 at 11:28 pm

I have that book, “words that sell.” I actually forgot about it…going to get it off the shelf now.

14 PJRyan 11.07.08 at 7:59 pm

:cool: That’s for the book recommendations. Checked out the customer reviews on Amazon.com. I ordered one from my library and bought the other one. Good product descriptions are powerful if targeted to the audience needs (give what they want, how they want it).

15 diengie 11.15.08 at 9:21 am

Thanks for the encouraging nudge to write better product descriptions!
We could definitely use some help in this area… going to go to the book store and pick up one of the suggested titles. We find that designing and creating our products leaves little time for creative writing of their ads or descriptions. But it is something that is worthy of the time it takes.
Do you do critiques? Would love for you to take a look at our product write ups and offer your opinion about more interesting and emotional wording. Thanks for the thought provoking reading!

16 Bev Carlson 01.21.09 at 9:35 am

Good article. Writing has always been my low point. I’m working on it and will check out the books you have listed.
Bev

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